


Get Fucked

by nazgulofangmar



Series: The Bookstore Chronicles [5]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Bookshop, Customer Service, Customers - Freeform, I had to get this out of my system, Not Betaed, One-Shot, Retail, Swearing, bookstore, for the love of everything that is good, lots of swearing, not edited, this had to be written for all the retail workers out there, ty and zane being assholes to customers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-29 00:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazgulofangmar/pseuds/nazgulofangmar
Summary: Ty wants an entire day at the bookshop where he can just tell people what he really thinks. Everyone is on board.





	Get Fucked

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's actually far far worse in clothing stores or supermarkets or restaurants but I was so fed up with customers being all entitled, arrogant, condescending fuckers I had to write this.

“I’m announcing today as the day when all of us are allowed to tell customers what we really think when we smile at them with our fake smiles and pretend to care about them”, Ty said with a tight smile. “I’m sick and tired of those assholes stepping all over us just because they are customers and we are the low-lives serving them.”

Zane winced. “Are you sure this is such a good idea, doll? Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stick it to those entitled jerks but don’t you think it’ll be bad for business?”

“We might have just discovered a fucking market niche. Come on, remove the stick from your arse and let’s go insult people.” Ty was out of the door in a heartbeat and when Zane followed with a sigh he found him hanging a sign on the door. When had he drawn that??

**Warning! Employees are allowed to be honest today!**

Zane finally gave in. Secretly he had long wished to just say what he was thinking when someone told him it was outrageous that he hadn’t read a certain title or a book was only available as hardback. Now that he thought about the possibilities the idea was very appealing, it sounded like balm for his poor battered soul. Besides, it was just one day, how many rude people could come to the store in just one day?

A lot as it turned out.

Ty had already briefed Kate and Jared who both looked like they’d just won the fucking lottery. Kate especially had a blissfully evil smile as she started up the computers and prepared the register. Zane really didn’t want to be the first nasty customer to snap at her but he definitely wanted to see Kate dish out. He had never seen any of his employees so eager to open the store and get to the customers. _Like hungry wolves waiting for their prey_ , he thought.

“OK, people you know the rules”, Ty said as he walked over to the door. Rules? “No heavy insults, definitely no slurs, threats or humiliation. Cursing is allowed, sarcasm is expected and please do scoff at people the way they scoff at us.”

“I’m so excited! This is the best day of my life”, Kate sighed and wiped an invisible tear from her eye.

Ty opened the door. “Happy feelings, happy feelings!”

Zane had thought he would play it cool, maybe be a bit condescending but mostly professional. It was fun telling people off in a regularly professional way. Well, that was until Dr. Dr. Asshole entered the store and passed him and Ty by without as much as a glance or an answer to their greeting. Ty already smirked and licked his lip as he zeroed in on his prey.

“I never find anything in those shelves”, the accusatory and utterly frustrated voice of Dr. Dr. Asshole drifted across the open space. It wasn’t a statement to himself or just a general expression of unhappiness. It was a request and he expected someone to spring to his side, bow low and read every wish from his eyes. Zane tried to fight it. He really did but when Ty started to move, Zane stopped him and shook his head.

“This one belongs to me.”

Ty grinned. “Have fun, babe.”

As soon as Dr. Dr. Asshole in his prestigious clothes and his condescending look spotted Zane approaching he frowned and pointed to the neatly alphabetised shelf. “I just don’t understand your system!”

Zane smiled. “You read the sign on our door, right?”

“About honesty?”

“Yeah, so please don’t be alarmed when I now tell you that this shelf, as all of our shelves in this bookstore and by extend most shelves in most stores are sorted by last name of the author. A simple alphabetised shelf. So easy, and look here we got about two inch thick wooden blocks with fat letters to help finding the letter you’re looking for. A fucking alphabet! It starts over here at A and ends over there at Z. It doesn’t get any easier than that. So fucking stop it with your ‘oh, I can’t find anything in here ever, I hope someone hears me whining’ crap and ask like a normal person.”

“This – this is outrageous! I will not be spoken to like this!”

“Sorry, today we tell our customers what we really think when they come in with their dumb questions, their rudeness and their arrogance.”

“I want to speak to a manager and have you fired!”

“Ah, I love to hear those words. They are music to my ears as I am in fact the owner of the store and can do whatever the fuck I want.”

Zane left the man gaping and moved back towards Ty. This had felt good. He’d needed that. Zane flopped down behind the desk and watched the customer leave the store. Ty snickered. “Beautiful. Isn’t it liberating? Letting all your feelings out instead of bottling them up?”

“Yeah.” Zane smiled and started answering e-mails. This would be a lovely day.

**ooOoOoo**

“No I haven’t read this book yet. It’s been only released the other day and I haven’t had a chance to pick it up yet.”

The lady’s corner of her mouth twitched in a way that had Ty put on his nicest murder-smile. It was the twitch of disapproving. “But this is an author everyone needs to read!”

Ty nodded. “And I will but with only 90,000 new releases every year I have to manage my reading so I don’t run out of material.” The customer frowned at him but didn’t react to his comment. Instead she picked up another random book and Ty knew what was coming. “No, I haven’t read that one either.”

“You don’t read very much, do you?”

“I read enough but as I also work for the CIA I have to kill terrorists on my week-ends. It cuts back on the quality reading time.”

“Don’t get cocky with me, young man! This author was on LitMagazine where he discussed his newest novel. Haven’t you seen it?”

“Sorry, I work at the time LitMag is on so no, I haven’t seen it.”

“But there is the possibility to re-watch missed episodes online. It’s sad that you don’t show any interest in literature or in your job.”

“You mean in my free time, right? The free time that I have the right to spend however the fuck I want? My personal fucking free time? Yeah, no I don’t do that.”

“I really don’t like your tone.”

Ty grinned as wide as a Cheshire Cat. This was his moment. “Oh haven’t you heard? Today we are allowed to say what’s truly on our mind when condescending customers as yourself come into the store and assume we are robots with no free time who have read every fucking book in here. That’s not how it works and we’ve had enough.”

“How dare you-”

“If you want me to recommend you something that I’ve read you’ll find me at the information desk.”

Ty tried to fight down the euphoria threatening to overwhelm him as he gave a small salute and retreated. Two shelves over Ty encountered a young girl who was looking a bit lost. “Hey, can I help you find anything?”

“Oh, yes, um, I was looking for a copy of Peter Pan but I can’t find it on the shelf? Could you check for me, please?”

Ty looked at the section the girl was standing in. “Oh, no Peter Pan is in the classics section not the regular novels. Come on, I’ll show you and maybe we even have a lovely illustrated edition left.”

“Thanks!”

It could be so easy. So fucking easy to just fucking ask in a normal voice, using helpful words such as “thank you” and “please”. Ty would already die for this girl, his standards had sunken so low ever since he’d started to work in customer service. A “have a nice day” could have him coming in his pants these days.

On their way to the classics they passed Kate who was about to tell a customer off. Beautiful.

“No, you can’t have a discount.”

“Why not?! I’m buying five books.”

“So?”

“I deserve a discount.”

Kate actually laughed. “No you don’t. If you don’t want to buy five books then don’t. But you’re not getting a discount.”

“This is ridiculous, I always get a discount!”

“Computer says you don’t”, Kate said, unblinking.

“I want a discount.”

Zane materialised behind Kate. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Your employee is rude and won’t give me a discount! I deserve a discount for poor customer service.”

“Sorry, mate, no discounts for people who ask for discounts. Today is be-honest-to-customers-day and she can say whatever she wants. Be glad, she’s been holding back.”

Zane and Kate watched in delight as the man’s face turned bright red and he started yelling. “Fuck this”, Kate said and left for the upper floor while Zane escorted the man outside. They wouldn’t be making a lot of money today but their souls would appreciate this day.

“Why don’t you have this book in stock?! Every bookstore should have it! It’s new and very important!”

Zane was brought back to reality when he heard the exasperated and well-known exclamation. Every time he heard it he died a little inside. But it seemed Jared had it under control.

“It’s sold out. It happens.”

“But I need it! I’m invited to a birthday party! I need this book! I don’t believe this, this is outrageous, a bookshop not having this book in stock!”

“And that’s my problem how? I’m no magician, I can’t just pull it out of my ass because you are remembering to buy a birthday present on the day of the party, Ma’am. We don’t have it. Deal with it.”

“What do you-”

“I don’t give a single fuck.”

“I … you …” Zane admired the speechlessness of the lady who only now realised what it meant to be hit by a full dose of retail employee honesty.

“I can either order it for you or you can find something else. Your choice.”

Meanwhile Kate was manning the computer to type in orders. When a man approached her station she smiled. “Hi, welcome to Brick&Mortar Books, can I help you at all?”

“Crime novels.”

“Aye, cheers mate, as soon as you learn how to fucking greet back, form a sentence and learn some manners I’ll help ya. In the meantime, get fucked.”

She happily said this to several more customers over the course of the day.

Get fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> Some may argue that this is nothing (and I agree, compared to the horrors I've seen online about retail this is nothing) but imagine getting this kind of shit multiple times every day for years. It chips away at you until your mortal body only wishes to transcend into the astral plain to be rid of the pain. I completely acknowledge that there are people in worse retail jobs but right now it's about my pain. This is me being pissed and I will stay pissed until people learn some fucking manners. The end.


End file.
